With the holidays here once again, there’s no better time to give thanks to some of our most cherished movie directors for the amazing stories they’ve delivered to us on the big screen. What better way to experience the spirit of the season than to come together and admire these classic pieces of art? Whether they be dramas, comedies, campy Christmas flicks or bone-chilling horror, there’s no shortage of quality titles to enjoy.

We won’t be looking at any of them today, though. We’ll be looking at Neil Breen.

A Californian architect by day, amateur filmmaker by night, Breen has written, produced, directed, and starred in five films with a highly anticipated sixth on the way. While it would seem like someone with this repertoire would have garnered a lot more notoriety in the cutthroat world of show business, Breen has only truly achieved a cult status of hardcore fans, with most watching out of morbid curiosity. It’s a fact that on paper may seem disheartening, until one dives into his library of work and sees for themselves why the filmmaker has cemented his place among some of the worst directors of all time.

Though it may be difficult to sift through, it’s time to take a dive in to the Breen catalog and decipher which one of the infamous artist’s outings is the absolute best of the worst.

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5 Pass Thru

     Neil Breen Films, LLC

We’ll begin with 2016’s Pass Thru as our first foray into the mind of Neil Breen. Acting as a standard plot for the director, Breen plays a man from space who possesses vague and unimaginable power. What’s on this alien’s to-do list? Why, to destroy all evil of course, which takes the form of corporations, banks, and governments. While the story is yet more self-inserting tales of supernatural heroism by Breen, it doesn’t quite hit the hilarious highs of his other ventures and can come off as pretty dry and slow, especially for newcomers.

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MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY

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While there’s still enough bad effects and painfully drab, oddly bitter melodramatic writing to go around, this may be one to skip. Unless you’re on a marathon, in which case you may be too numb to care by this point.

4 I Am Here… Now

If the title alone wasn’t enough to get you to roll your eyes, get a load of this:

Our hero, once again played by Neil Breen (get used to that), comes from space, is a god-like robot, and is responsible for creating Earth and all humans. Ever the modest writer, Breen tells a tale of saving our planet from his self-declared sworn nemeses, corrupt governments and evil corporations. If this is sounding familiar to our previous entry, that’s because it is, and painfully so. Though to the credit of I Am Here… Now, it was released seven years before Pass Thru, leaving the latter to feel like a needless retread of an already absurd concept.

There’s a lot to enjoy within the film; terribly acted dialogue and absolutely abrupt and bizarre character motivations keep the laughs coming, even if the pace is all over. While it’s certainly not mislabeled as “bad” like some movies end up being, there’s an unmistakable charm throughout the flick that’s hard to ignore.

3 Twisted Pair

Some may claim the “evil twin with facial hair” cliché is about 30 years past being even ironically interesting. Well, luckily for us, Neil Breen is here to prove just how wrong those people are.

Believe it or not, Breen plays both leads, a pair of twin brothers who are gifted special powers in order to stop evil. Tragically separated when they were younger, the siblings have gone off on their own paths, with one brother fighting corruption, and the other, well, also fights corruption, but he has a $14.99 beard and mustache on.

Utilizing less green screen than the rest of the collection, Twisted Pair ends up standing out from the pack due to a more distinguishable visual style. Though don’t be concerned, it’s just as hilarious without it due to Breen working double time to deliver us two incredibly stiff and ridiculously self-important leads, and creating a plot so impossible to understand, it’s easier to just turn your brain off and enjoy the madness.

2 Double Down

A devilishly clever and respected hired mercenary for “any nation that wants to control another,” Breen plays his idea of the cool hitman with a broken heart and penchant for vengeance. What’s cooler than only eating cans of tuna and living in your car? As this movie teaches us, the answer is almost anything.

As Neil Breen’s first movie, his usual detached-from-reality style is slightly more grounded here, though not by much. While the filmmaker isn’t some kind of space deity in Double Down, our hero is still feared across the globe and better still, always one step ahead. Double Down pairs an over-the-top plot with beautifully bad acting to create a journey that won’t be stealing the spotlight from any action rom-coms, but certainly is in a league of its own. Just hold the tuna.

1 Fateful Findings

     Neil Breen FIlms, LLC

By far the most recognizable and well-known of his works, there’s more than enough memorable moments to go around here. Breen stars as a genius hacker (who also possesses superpowers) and vows to fight against (take a guess) the evil corrupt governments and corporations of the world. The melodrama is here in full force, but coupling that with the hysterically bad acting and nonsensical violence, you have one fantastically bad movie.

The ideal starting point for anyone looking to go on their own “Breenventure,” Fateful Findings perfectly encapsulates everything about the deranged and egotistical director that we all find so entertaining. Being the center of attention, the smartest in the room, and the answer to everyone’s questions, Neil Breen definitely is his own biggest fan, but with how enjoyable his films are, others aren’t too far off.

So for this holiday season, while many out there will be enjoying their favorite classic films with loved-ones, hopefully some take a moment to appreciate the works of those who may not be as celebrated, albeit justifiably. Popping in a Neil Breen movie might just become a new tradition after all, and judging by the eerily specific character traits of living in a car eating only tuna, the man might just need the support in this season of giving.